I get allot of questions regarding my IVF (In vitro fertilization) treatment. I understand the curiosity, because it is not something that most people associate with cancer treatment. I had no idea about it myself until my friend, who is a nurse, told me about it. She told me shortly after I was diagnosed, that now we would have to put pressure on getting Ravi home sooner so we could freeze embryos. I was taken aback and asked her why she though we had to do that. Then she told me that most chemo drugs can leave you either temporarily or permanently infertile. I wondered why I had never heard about it before. I thought back on all the movies and TV shows that I had seen that had touch on the subject of cancer and I don’t ever remember this issue being brought up and I couldn’t for the life of me understand why. When you are young and childless like me and have spent years dreaming of one day having a family of your own, this is a huge issue. When I realized this, I got so scared and I wondered if my dream of having children with the man I loved, would ever come true. Ravi felt so far aways at this point and everybody who has gone trough the process of getting work and resident permit in Iceland, knows how long this process can take and seeing that I was suffering from a stage 4 cancer and that I needed to start chemotherapy as soon as possible, we were all of a sudden in a race with time. Would I be able to get Ravi her in time to marry him before the egg retrieval and him needing to submit sperm for the insemination? Yes there is this issue of having to be either married or registered living together before you can complete an IVF treatment and freeze embryos. We are still at that place where we are not sure if we will make it in time. He has his permits, but the Danish embassy, which is supposed to give him his VISA endorsement, has neither answered his emails or phone calls, when he has tried to book an appointment with them. Then there is the issue of the Bachelorhood certificate, which we need so that we can get married, when it comes to getting appropriate stamps for this sort of documents, the level of corruption and greed of indian bureaucrats knows no bounds. I will be so relieved when we are married and we never have to deal with indian bureaucracy again! I just really hope that my treatment, which I have already started, will not be a complete waste of time and money. I can’t afford it to be, neither financially or emotionally. I have spent so much time worrying and crying over this issue. Having the opportunity to have children with Ravi once my cancer battle is over, means everything to me. My dream of it coming true, gives me a solid reason and elevated strength to battle the cancer and to eventually conquer it.
The issue of fertility in connection with cancer and chemotherapy is a huge issue for so many young cancer fighters, as was so evident at the micro conference of Kraftur, a support organization for young people with cancer. Nearly every speaker at the conference mentioned this issue and some spoke of the insane cost that a people need to fork out for each IVF treatment. When you are battling cancer, your financial situation is already suffering as you are not able to work and need to depend on government handouts, which only covers basic cost of living and god knows battling cancer, drugs and doctors visits, are not free. Why this issue isn’t discussed more in connection with cancer and why popular culture seems to avoid the subject all together when making stories of cancer, is beyond me. Why is this subject still a taboo in this day and age?