Category Archives: Iceland

Happy 2017!

Yesterday was the last day of the worst year of my life. Hopefully it will stay the worst year of my life. Hopefully my life can only get better from here on. Of course there were some good moments. Like when my father and brother married their significant others, when we moved into our cosy little house in the lovely town of Hveragerði and of course the day when I married the love of my life. The highlight of this Christmas and New Years Eve was having my lovely husband by my side. Something I had dreamt of for many years…since before we even met.

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in January last year I was diagnosed with a stage 4 primary peritoneal cancer and spent the whole of the year 2016 fighting that cancer, going trough 2 different chemo therapies, 6 rounds each therapy, I fought the system long and hard so I could marry my love and I lost a dear friend. 

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“Happy New Year!  Happy New Year! May we all have our hopes, our will to try. If we don’t we might as well lay down and die” sings the iconic pop group Abba. These words could not ring more truer to me than on the beginning of this new year 2017. I won’t give up my fight. I won’t lay down and die. All I have got to kick off this new year is hope and I will take my hope and ride it all the way. I have so much to offer and I am only just beginning to realise how much.

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Tomorrow I have a blood test and a CT scan and on 4th of January I will see my doctor and then I will know more how things stand for me right now and what I have to deal with this year and what I need to do to continue my fight. I swear this year I will eat better, take better care of myself, write and read more. These are my New Years resolutions.

0O7B9451_3Happy New Year everyone! May all of our dreams come true  this year and may we never lose hope or the will to try.

I would also like to express my sincere gratitude to all of you for the support I received last year, both financial and emotional. You helped making a difficult year more bearable. ♥

The Three Pointed Star

On March 29, I received the most dreadful news. My dear childhood friend Marin Rós, had passed away suddenly. The grieve that filled my heart was overwhelming. Why did this have to happen? She was supposed to live a long and fruitful life. This incredibly bright and beautiful girl, so bubbly and full of live. Wonderful mother and extraordinary person. This was so unfair.

Marin, her sister Anna and me dressing up for the beach during winter

Marin, her sister Anna and me dressing up for the beach during winter

I met Marin when I moved to the tiny village of Hólar at the age of 12. Hólar was the best place I had ever lived at. The school was great and kids where friendly. We were 4 girls in the class and all got on really well. Me, Magga Jóna, Katrín and Marin. Magga Jóna was from a farm in the valley and us, the other tree, all lived at Hólar. We soon became the best of friends and inseparable in all. The principle at our school called us “þrístyrnið”, a 3 pointed star. We endured puberty together and all that entails. First period, bras, boys and throwing the coolest parties. But we also loved doing other things too like exploring the area around Hólar, making prank calls, taking photos and developing them at the darkroom at school, hanging out at the school library between classes reading book, dancing like no one was watching, singing from the top of our voices and other cool things we thought up and made happen. It really was the greatest part of my childhood.

Me & Katrín reading one of Marin's Seventeen Magazines

Me & Katrín reading one of Marin’s Seventeen Magazines

When we went off to college, we got separated and for the next decade we did not see much of each other, but when we did it was wonderful and as if we had never been a part. But then the most horrible thing happened, in 2011 our dear Katrin passed away after a difficult fight with breast cancer. It was a great loss and brought me and Marin back together in our grieve. The same year I moved abroad, first England, then Sweden, Norway and eventually India. During this time Marin was fighting depression and addiction to prescription drugs.  When I came back home last year, we started to built our friendship again. When I was in Denmark for my pet scan, I received a phone call from Marin. She was in rehab and had gotten permission to phone me. We had the most intimate conversation about our struggles and how we were gonna be there for each other during them, me with my cancer and she with her demons. We made plans to learn Indian cooking and learn Bollywood dancing among other things. That was the last I heard from Marin as she died shortly after she came home from rehab. I miss her so much.

Me, Marín & Katrín during our confirmation

Me, Marín & Katrín during our confirmation

I will never forget these two incredible ladies. Their strength, intelligence and beauty. The time we had together and our memories. I will forever miss and love them. I pledge to survive this cancer and to live a long productive life. And at some point during my live I will write my memoir where I will make their memory immortal.

 

Appreciation for all I have received

The past week has been crazy. After I published my last blog post and posted it on my Facebook, my aunt shared it on and before I knew it a journalist had contacted me wanting to do an interview with me. At first I was reluctant to do an interview and I took a day to carefully consider. After a while I though, hell if some should do it, than that someone should be me as I believe I have the strength stand with it. I wanted to do it for us all, all of us that are not only battling cancer but also the financial burden that comes with being diagnosed with a serious illness. Not only is it costly, but because of our illness, we are not able to work and earn regular salary. It is really unfair considering that a large prosentige of our monthly salary goes into paying tax. One should have thought that if getting sick, we would be compensated. But that doesn’t seem to be the case. Because of this, the journalist suggested that we would start a donation for me with the article, to help me with the financial burden. I was  not expecting much. I was certainly not expecting the impact the article was going to have. Many posted it on Facebook and the comments that followed, showed the anger in the society toward the state of our healthcare system. There was an outcry for its restoration. There was even a mention of my interview at the parliament. But that wasn’t all I was surprised by, nor all the financial support a received, which by the way went above my expectation. But also all the amazing energy I received from all the people thinking about me, praying for me, sending me a healing light. I never thought I would actually feel it, but somehow it did. I could feel it prickling my skin and entering me, filling my heart with love and my soul with peace. I have been feeling so incredibly thankful and touched by all the help I have received, some even coming from complete strangers. I am full of appreciation for all the donations I have received and for all the love and all the light. Thank you all so very, very much.

If you speak Icelandic, you can read the interview here.

Happy New Year!

IMG_6650-1-576x1024At the beginning of the year 2015, I started this blog, but didn’t continue with it as the year didn’t turn out quite as I had hoped it would, as I spent most of the year having health problems. For a long time I did not know what was wrong with me, but I could tell something wasn’t right with me. I sought the help of medical experts in hope that someone might come up with an explanation. I was always tired, low in energy, I lacked concentration and I got frequent asthma attacks.

In the summer I worked as an office manager for Viking Rafting, as I had done the previous summer. When there was only couple of day left of the rafting season, we at Viking Rafting decided to cook a dinner for our partners. The day before, I was in pain and had fever, but because this dinner was important for the company, I decided to suck it up, took an ibuprofen in the morning and headed for work. But the pain worsened by the day and I was encouraged by my mother and fiancé to consult a doctor. The doctor asked me to come to the hospital in Sauðárkróki straight away for a blood test. After the blood test I was told that I would have to go immediately to the Hospital in Akureyri, as my blood test had revealed that I had severely high infection parameters in my blood. Turned out the infection had spread to my abdomen and liver and that I suffered as well from blood and vitamin B12 deficiency.  I was in hospital for 4 consecutive weeks. I got a strong cocktail of different antibiotics directly trough a central venous catheter in my chest and had to undergo all kinds of tests and exams. But it was of little or no avail, as the doctors could not conclude what was causing the infection. After spending approximately 2 months at home recovering, I was sent for a laparoscopic surgery between Christmas and New Years Ever, so that the doctors could get better samples to study, in their quest to determine the cause of the infection. I have yet to hear the result from that test.

I have decided on this new year, to focus on my health. I am gonna recover fully from this illness and I am going to do even better, what my health is concerned. I will try anything to help my body to fully recover, and then continue to give it all the love and care that I have so far denied it. The fact that I haven’t been taking good enough care of my health, might have contribute to my illness. I have, for a very long time, not taken good enough care of both my physical and mental health.  But now, that all will change. From now on, I will treat my body and mind like a temple. I will think carefully about everything I put into my body and stop worrying about everything. It is my New Years resolution. The first thing I will do is to stop drinking alcohol! 2016 is gonna be an alcohol-free year for me.

Another thing I’m going to do more of is to write. I decided to write at least one blog entry on this page each week, where I will record my progress and this new lifestyle that I intend to uphold on this new year and how it will affects my health.

I’ll will also dedicate time to write my books, because I have decided to publish my first book no later than in 2017 🙂

Happy New Year!