Monthly Archives: August 2016

May justice always prevail!

IMG_8141To all my foreign friends who might be confused by all the media circus that has been surrounding me and Ravi for the past week or so. Here is the full story: On April 1st me and Ravi applied for marriage licence.

In the light of my cancer diagnoses in the beginning of this year, we came to realise that chemotherapy could possibly make me infertile. Therefor we were in a sudden rush to get Ravi to Iceland as swiftly as possible so we could freeze embryos. But to be able to freeze embryos, we had to be married first. However two days before the day we had chosen for our marriage, which was my mothers birthday April 7th, the Icelandic bureaucracy put a stop to our marriage plans, stating that Ravi’s bachelorhood certificate wasn’t valid because it didn’t look like some divorce papers from south India that they had been recently given. It did not matter to them that Ravi’s paper was stamped by all valid authorities in India, including the Uttarakhand district court, Magistrates court in Delhi, the ministry of External affairs in India and the Indian Embassy in Iceland. We were lucky however that the IVF clinic sympathized with our situation and gave us permission to freeze embryos so that I could start my chemotherapy as quickly as possible, just as long as we would be married when the embryos would be implanted.

Following the decision of the Icelandic bureaucracy (Sýslumaðurinn í Reykjavík), we decided to challenge their decision, quoting Icelandic marriage law where it says that if one or both persons getting married are seriously ill, no extra paperwork should be required. With this we handed in a medical certificate from my doctor to back it up. However it took them more than 3 months to answer us and when we finally received their answer they denied us once again to marry. But now time was of the essence, because Ravi’s temporary work and resident permit were about to expire, which meant that he would have to return to India and stay there for 6 months while his application for his temporary work and resident permit was once again approved. That meant that for these 6 months he would not be able to be with me or come to me if anything would have happened, for example if my health would have taken a turn for the worst, he’d be stuck in India.

Desperate times require desperate measures. The injustice we were being dealt was too obvious to ignore. We knew we had the right papers, we were not about to give up, so we took it to the media. Straight away help started pouring in. One of the people offering their assistance was a great legal mind that saw the obvious miss justice in all of this and that Ravi’s papers were more than valid. He helped us sue the decision again and this time he took it straight to the Iceland’s Ministry of Internal affairs. The Ministry of Internal affairs did not only overrule the decision of the Sýslumaðurinn í Reykjavík, thus allowing us now finally to marry, but as well promised to reconsider their work process when it comes to evaluating foreign papers in situations such as these. So the victory we have been able to push trough with our persistence, will not only affect us Ravi, but many other in similar position that will follow. May justice always prevail!

Holding up with the Gharwali Hindu tradition that one can not celebrate any festivities within a year from a close relatives death, Ravi’s father in this case, who passed away from cancer in December last year. Our wedding ceremony which will take place this upcoming week, will be a simple low-key ceremony and there will be no proper wedding party celebrated until next year. Hopefully then my health will have improved.

Thank you everybody for your help, strength and support during this battle. It was greatly appreciated.

It’s been a while…

I know it’s been a while since I last posted a blog. I will explain what has been going on as many things have happened since I last wrote a blog post.

I had made plans to write post around certain topics and had prepared them to some extend, but after my 3rd chemo (I have so far now had 5), I travelled north to stay with my father and to attend a 60th birthday party of a friend and neighbour who also is fighting cancer. I think the journey back and forth and the party, although they very pleasant, proofed to be a bit too much for me. I became ill when I came home with fever and ended up in hospital with an IV drip and antibiotics being pumped into my veins.

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The very next day I came from the hospital, we moved places. We had been staying in a rented flat in the centre of Reykjavík, but my mother suggested we would should buy together a flat so that I would have a secure home during my health struggle. However, as I am a patient and Ravi is a foreigner, only my mother was able to go through a credit approval for a loan. We realised early on that we could not afford to live in the Reykjavík area, so we looked for a home outside the city and found one in the wonderful town of Hveragerði, approximately 30 minutes drive from the city. Because I had just been discharged from the hospital I was not allowed to do anything or help with the moving. Not that I had any energy to do so. But it frustrated me that I was not able to help. It frustrates me immensely that my body can not keep up with my mind. My mind wants to do so many things, but my physical capacity is greatly restricted and it is driving me crazy.

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Hveragerði

Just as I was getting better I had my 4th chemo. The first week afterwards was tough as per usual, but the weeks that followed were much better. I could feel that the change of location was proofing to be beneficial for me. I was feeling happy in my new home, but lacking the motivation to write again. I had a CT scan during these days and met with my doctor the following week, who told me that the cancer had stopped growing, which is a very good thing as it stops growing before it starts shrinking.  I was also given a blood transfusion as I have been severely lacking blood for months, which could not be improved with B12 shots or Iron tablets. I am very thankful to those people who gave that blood and to anyone who ever has. It really changed my energy levels. I felt as if I had been living like a zombie for a long time.

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Me and Ravi drove north that same day, after my blood transfusion. We had been invited to my fathers and his girlfriends birthday party, which turned out to be a surprise wedding. I knew this all along of course because I had to ask my doctor to postpone my chemotherapy for a week so I could participate in the wedding.

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My family @ my fathers wedding

After the 5th chemo I got the flue again and was feeling quite under the weather for a while. Once I started to feel a little better I became very busy again. I had an interview with a newspaper journalist and participated in a group discussion about what it’s like being a patient, with the national radio, whilst preparing for my brothers wedding which is taking place this weekend. My interview will be in the Sunday paper of the Morgunblaðið newspaper and I will let you know later when the radio discussion will be aired.