Monthly Archives: May 2016

Emotional Rollercoaster

IMG_7209Ravi arrived in Iceland on March 31st. It had been awhile since I had smiled or laughed as sincerely. He really is my ray of sun (the name Ravi means sun). We planned to get married as soon as we could so we could get on with the IVF treatment and freeze the embryos. The sooner we could finish that, the sooner I could start chemotherapy. It had already been nearly 3 months since I was diagnosed with cancer and the pressure of getting him to the country in time for everything, had been overwhelming. So on April 1st we applied to get married and reserved Thursday April 7th for the ceremony, which is my mothers birthday. We bought the wedding rings, took my dress for dry cleaning, planned the feast and ordered the bouquet. After all we didn’t expect anything to go wrong. We had researched and planned well and prepared what papers we needed to bring to apply for the marriage license and how to get them. However getting the marriage permit wasn’t going to be as easy as I had hoped. I will tell you more about that some other day. I don’t want to rock to boat too much right now, as we are working on fixing the situation. But I can tell you this, according to marriage law in Iceland, if either individual getting married is seriously ill, they should not have to go trough any extra paperwork, which is why we know this situation will be corrected and we will be able to go ahead and marry as previously planned.IMG_7365

Thankfully the staff at the IVF clinic have been really understanding about our situation and how pressing it is to get this done so I can have my chemotherapy and they told us that they would freeze our embryos now, just as long as we are married when they are placed in me. That was a huge burden taken off my already frail and sick body and mind. It has all been such an emotional rollercoaster and I have feared for my mental health as well as my physical one. It’s been allot of pressure put on one person, if having stage 4 cancer wasn’t already enough. The overwhelming pressure of getting Ravi to the country, dealing with immigration, our struggle to be allowed to get married, freezing embryos in time before chemotherapy, all the troubles we have had with that and on top of everything, loosing my childhood friend. I sometimes wonder how I am still getting out of bed in the morning. The good news is that we managed to get one strong embryo out of the IVF treatment, which has now been frozen. In the beginning they managed to get 9 eggs from me, 8 were fertilized with Ravi’s sperm, however only one survived and we are calling it our little fighter. It is my little ray of hope and I will look forward getting to know it, once all of this is over.

Monday April 25th, I finally started chemotherapy.IMG_7380